THERAPY FAQS » COUPLES COUNSELLING

Everything you might be wondering before starting couples therapy together.

General questions

Do I need a referral for couples therapy?

No, you don't need a referral to attend The Therapy Hub for couples therapy. You can book directly through our website.

What happens in our first session?

Your first session is about getting to know each other, setting expectations, and establishing goals for therapy. You and your partner will share what brought you to therapy, discuss any concerns, and explore your relationship dynamics. The therapist will guide the conversation and ask questions to better understand how to support both of you moving forward.

What will we talk about in therapy?

Therapy sessions vary depending on the couple's needs. Common topics include communication, intimacy, conflict resolution, and life transitions like parenthood. Your therapist may also explore past experiences, emotional patterns, and shared goals to help you understand each other better.

What if I don't like my therapist or they're not a good fit?

It's important to feel comfortable with your therapist. If you're not sure after the first few sessions, it's okay to talk about your concerns or ask to see someone else. The most important factor in successful therapy is a good relationship with your therapist, so don't hesitate to speak up if it doesn't feel right.

How do I talk to my partner about therapy?

Starting the conversation can be challenging. A good approach is to focus on your desire to strengthen your relationship rather than framing therapy as a "fix." Saying something like, "I think couples therapy could help us communicate better and understand each other more" can open the door to a more supportive conversation.

How can Gottman marathon sessions help us?

Gottman Marathon Couples Therapy sessions are a great way to dive deep into your relationship and make significant progress in a short amount of time. These sessions take place over 2-3 days and are perfect for couples looking for a concentrated, focused approach to addressing long-standing issues.

Do you see same-sex couples?

Yes, all couples are welcome regardless of gender or sexual orientation.

Do we need specific issues in mind to start?

You don't need to have a clear issue to start therapy. Many couples come in because something feels off, and the therapist helps explore what's happening and set goals. There's usually a catalyst for coming in, whether it's a life transition, a communication breakdown, or just wanting a check-in.

Should we wait if we're in the middle of a crisis?

There is no strict rule, but if a crisis is ongoing, it can be helpful to get support early rather than waiting. Therapy can help prevent resentment from building up, even in challenging periods.

Can we start if one of us is also in individual therapy?

Yes, as long as both partners feel ready. Individual therapy can help a person develop self-awareness and emotional regulation, which can be beneficial for couples therapy. If needed, your therapists can coordinate (with your consent) to ensure the best approach.

Can we come if we're in or considering an open relationship?

Absolutely. Therapy can help you and your partner(s) navigate boundaries, communication, and expectations in a healthy way.

Would you ever dissuade us from couples therapy?

There are some situations where couples therapy may not be recommended, such as when there is ongoing domestic violence, untreated severe substance addiction, or an undisclosed affair. In these cases, individual therapy or specialised support may be a better first step.

What is Gottman Therapy?

Gottman Therapy is one of the most well-researched approaches to couples therapy. It provides structured assessments and tools to improve communication, resolve conflict, and strengthen relationships. The approach is based on decades of research on what makes relationships succeed or fail.

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GETTING STARTED

What to expect around session numbers, timing, and whether couples therapy is the right move for you.

How many sessions will we need?

This depends on your goals and concerns. Typically, it takes 2-3 sessions to establish your therapist's understanding of your relationship and set a treatment plan. For some couples, short-term therapy (6-10 sessions) is enough to achieve meaningful change, while others may need longer-term therapy depending on the complexity of the issues. Your therapist will discuss this with you in the first few sessions.

Is couples therapy right for our relationship?

Couples therapy isn't just for relationships in crisis—it can be valuable at any stage. Whether you're struggling with communication, feeling disconnected, or navigating major life changes, therapy offers a supportive space to explore your relationship dynamics and strengthen your connection. It's an opportunity to understand each other better, develop healthier ways to communicate, and address challenges before they become bigger issues. If you're wondering whether couples therapy is right for you, it might be worth considering how professional support could help you and your partner build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.

What's the difference between traditional couples therapy and marathon sessions?

Traditional therapy involves weekly or fortnightly sessions, allowing couples to work through issues over time. Marathon sessions are intensive 2-3 day sessions designed for couples who want to make significant progress quickly. They are great for those with busy schedules or those facing urgent concerns. Your therapist can help determine which option suits your needs best.

When it feels complicated

Honest answers for the harder conversations, from hesitation to separation.

Why do people avoid couples therapy?

Some people fear being blamed or judged, but therapy isn't about taking sides—it's about helping both partners feel heard and understood. Others believe therapy is only for relationships in crisis, when in reality, it can strengthen communication and connection at any stage. Cultural or generational beliefs, like "keeping relationship problems private," can also prevent couples from seeking support. Lastly, change can feel daunting, but avoiding therapy doesn't make issues disappear—starting sooner can lead to healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Are there times you help lead a couple toward separation?

Therapy doesn't force a couple to stay together or separate. The goal is to provide clarity, not to push an outcome. If one or both partners are unsure about the relationship, discernment counselling can help them decide whether to work on things or move toward separation. This structured process allows couples to explore their feelings before making any final decisions. In some cases, therapy helps couples strengthen their relationship. In others, it becomes clear that separating is the healthiest choice. If that's the case, therapy can help them navigate the process with understanding and respect.

Would you recommend therapy if one partner already wants out?

Yes, therapy can still be helpful in this situation. If one person is set on leaving while the other wants to repair things, therapy provides a space to communicate openly about what led to this point, what each person needs, and whether a respectful, amicable separation is the best option. Sometimes, therapy helps clarify that there's still something worth working on. Other times, it allows both partners to gain closure and part ways with less conflict. If one partner is unwilling to engage in couples therapy, individual therapy can still be valuable—whether it's for improving communication, setting boundaries, or gaining clarity on what they need moving forward. Regardless of the outcome, therapy offers a safe space to explore options with professional guidance, helping both partners make informed and thoughtful decisions rather than acting from a place of fear or frustration.

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